On · my · chest · you · put · your · head · and · said...

So this is now the second day of my actual fast/detox thing. I have not eaten anything for two days.

TWO DAYS.

By now, I'm not so much hungry, but I am really really missing taste. I find my self fantasizing about biting into a really cheesy slice of pizza and feeling the texture of some solid in my mouth, and chewing! I miss chewing! Oh wait, no. Biting into a burrito would so make my day, because then I get a whole cornucopia of textures and flavors in my mouth, and I still get the cheese.

I have suggested all these things as our First Meal when the fast ends to my parents, but they moth think that's too heavy. Then I suggested sushi (which was also my Last Meal before the fast), which I think is what they and I have settled on. It's not too heavy, easy to digest, and still fucking delicious. I am so excited you have no idea.

The hardest thing about all this is that I can't drink coffee. Which sucks. As a result of no coffee and no food, I get exhausted, and have been going to bed at the very lame hour of eight thirty in the evening. Yes I am old and lame.

I hope this will be worth it in the end, because I miss eating like hell, and realized how much I fucking like to eat, and just writing all this made me crazy hungry. I guess I'll just go back to drinking my vegetable juice.

I am a cheap dirty whore for spoiling my self by watching the first five minutes of The Dark Knight.

If you want to be a cheap dirty whore too, go here!

It. Looks. SO. Good.

And further rapage of Kurt Cobain's memory has been done.

Converse has recently come out with the "Kurt Cobain" line of shoes. The shoes come with his signature embroidered somewhere on the shoe, with either his journal entries, song lyrics or doodles printed on them. This was obviously approved my Courtney, because she is a money grubbing whore who needs more drugs.

"Distressed in the way Kurt Cobain wore them, the shoes provide a rarely seen glimpse into the head of this musical and lyrical genius with sketches that display his hopes, dreams and lyrics from amazing songs such as Come As You Are."

Come As You Are? That's not even one of his greatest songs. And ugh, it makes me sick that they take his journal entries and put them on shoes. Imagine having your personal musings and rantings on people's feet?

I'm just really disgusted with this. First they publish his journals, in which he even wrote on the first page that this is for no one. Now he has his own shoes. I think it goes against everything he stood for.

Happy belated Canada day! My celebration was getting paid to see Leonard Cohen. Yes. Paid. Through my mad connections at the Canadian Embassy (My mother), I got a job waitressing the VIP booth where the Canadian Ambassador and the Prime Minister of Norway were wining and eating hor'd'oeuvres. The PM had his family with him, and it was nice to see some normalcy in the leader of Norway's life. My heart swelled a little when they were standing outside watching Cohen, with his arms around his wife swaying to the music, or when Stoltenberg (The PM) raised his hands and swayed them to the music while his wife desperately tried to make him  stop, but then failed miserably when their son started joining in with the dad and together they were teasing the mom. So cute!

After I finished serving, we were allowed to stay and watch Cohen from the VIP booth, he was amazing. Despite being 73 years old, he still had oodles of energy was jumping up and down the stage , flirting with the backup singers and the audience (Before he started playing a song a girl screamed out "I love you!" and without hesitation he replied in his gravel-y voice "I love you too." and started playing. I wanted to be that girl! I was also very amused about the fact that he kept on mentioning Canada. Another awesome quote was "So now I'm back in Norway. The last time I played here was fourteen years ago when I was a mere 60-year old." Aww... I want him to be my Grandfather!

Also! This was one of the highlights of the evening. I met a really famous Norwegian comedian called Atle Antonsen from Team Antonsen (this video is also funny for non Norwegian speakers). And I kinda fangirled at him.  :3

Me: "Um, are you Atle Antonsen from Team Antonsen?"
Atle: "Yeah, used to be."
Me: "omgimmahuuuuugefan!" *squee*
Atle: "Awww!" *hugs me*  "But I really, really really have to go piss. Like. REALLY." *runs off*

I think he was kinda drunk, which is why he probably hugged me. But still!

In conclusion, VIP booths are fun (not that long of a line to the beer stall, not that long of a line to bathroom), Cohen was amazing, he played a forty five minute long encore. All in all, my Canada day was fun!

[ Side note, usually I like to laugh as cos players because usually they suck, but I was looking for clothing references for Rikku of FFX-2 and I came across this group of cosplayers and was literally blown away. They are amazing. Go look at them.]

ftw 1: There are large metre by metre sized blocks of ice randomly strewn around the courtyard in Telenor. Why?

ftw 2: There's an eleven year old boy sitting in the reception with an iPhone. He has no right to own on of those beautiful things. He's eleven. I'm guessing. I don't really know for sure. But his voice has been breaking periodically so I'm guessing he's just entering puberty. I hate him.

Ok, seriously, this is the most ridiculous article I have ever read. It is entitled "Why no child is safe from the sinister cult of emo". First of all, there are two things wrong with that sentence, emo is not sinister, Mr.Burns is sinister, but not emo's. Secondly, since when did emo become a "cult"?

According to this article this emo girl killed herself because she was in the "Cult of Emo". She had gone from being the popular girl to dying her hair black and wearing black clothing and cutting herself. She was reportedly always online talking to the emo's of the world and discussing the black parade which "is a place where all emos believe they will go when they die" No. The Black Parade is an album made by My Chemical Romance. Not emo heaven. Oh and, they are of course also blaming My Chemical Romance because the the suicidal teenager listen to them a lot. My Chemical Romance are now parading through London in protest of this claim, which I think is a good thing.

When stuff like this happens, everyone immediately finds something to blame. Like in the school shooting at Columbine, the people responsible listened to Marylin Manson, so obviously it was his fault. People never blame the kids that perform these things. People don't listen to music and suddenly decide "I'm going to kill myself now", or "I think I'll take this gun to school and shoot a bunch of people". There has to be something inherently  wrong  with the person to do something like that. People listen to music to feel better about themselves because they feel they can relate to the lyrics. It's the same with subcultures, they can be with people who can relate to their problems and way of life.

This hoo-ha over the emo sub culture is just how people reacted to the goth sub-culture. If some outsider kid kills themselves, it's immediately the subcultures fault. If a popular, mainstream kid kills themselves, it's because they were struggling with depression.

Teenagers are teenagers. They all handle the transition from childhood to adulthood differently. I know I've done some things I'm not exactly proud of, and I'm positive all of you have done the same. Sometimes kids are just stupid enough to kill themselves. I'm not saying it's right, but to go out blaming things that aren't really at fault, or to give musicians bad reps is just not cool. When things like this happen, especially when a subculture is involved, the parents are out to blame everything, because they don't want to blame themselves.  Just because your kids wear black and listen to alternative music, does not mean they are unhappy, in some cases, yes, but in most of the cases they are just finding themselves. Parents should talk to their kids. I know when I was a wee teenager, I thought the rules my parents set up with annoying and that they were so unfair. Like, when I went to parties my parents had to pick me up at midnight, my mom was a nazi when it came to what I wearing, and my parents would constantly ask me questions about drugs and sex within my friend circle (this felt like interrogation). At the time, it felt like hell, but in hindsight, it has taught me a lot, if I did not get picked up at midnight, who knows what kind of trouble I would have been in, and it also stops me now from getting too, too drunk because I know my limit and when to stop and how to pace myself. When parents see their child rebelling they think that the best thing to do is to back off to stop them from rebelling more. But kids need rules, and they will keep testing the boundaries until they've done something incredibly stupid, or worse, something that can't be fixed.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that it pisses me off when media finds things to blame for teen suicide and such things. It's not the fault of subcultures or the music industry, the fault usually lies in the person.

And that's what grinds my gears.

So I'm back in Norway, and I really did not realize how much I missed it. I realize too that I am much closer to my parents than ever. I am now more comfortable to just be upstairs and hang out with them and talk and tell them about my experiences in Canada and how my day has been. I no longer hide out in my room all day except for when dinner is served. I usually just curl up on the corner couch on one end reading a book while my dad is on the other end reading his book. So home life has turned out a lot better.

The flight over here, however, was possibly the worst plane ride I have ever been on. I thought nothing could top the flight in which I had to sit next to this fat guy who was picking his nose AND THEN EATING IT WTF. But no. This beat it. At least Mr MacNosepickerson didn't talk to me at all. But I had to be seated next to a drunk born again Catholic. WHO WOULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. Seriously. Ugh. There was just so many things wrong with that flight. We got into this massive argument over religion in which he was trying to tell me that when I get older I will see the light and realize that there is a supreme god. The other massive argument we got in (unfortunately for everyone else on that flight, for I was practically screaming at him) was that he firmly believed that being gay was a disease that was very similar to schizophrenia and that it was completely unnatural and wrong. Holy crap. I could not believe it. He was just... so .... Wrong on so many levels. And it made me feel even more pessimistic about humankind, and it made me feel naive for thinking that people were over all that and moved on. Ugh. He really disgusted me

I was also so lucky to have the only working touch screen TV in my area of the plane. So of course to investigate this he had to turn to me slur out something about he didn't understand why his TV didn't work, jab my screen multiple times thus fucking up my screen too. Fucking dick. I was half way through watching The Kite Runner too. Douchebag.

Even the air hostess came up to me during breakfast and mouthed "Are you ok?"

Anyway, luckily I got a job as soon as I came here. So I am officially a receptionist for this big corporate telephone company called Telenor (Well, one receptionist out of ten). The pay is really good and work is minimal. I am at work now, and since I've started writing this, no one has come up to me (Ok, someone just called me as soon as I wrote that, but it was irrelevant) . All I really do is hand out replacement security card for people who have forgotten their own and collect clothes to go to the laundry people and answer people's crazy questions. The rest is pretty much me fucking around on the intarwebs. Although since I'm a receptionist I have to wear a suit (only "colours" allowed is black on white), and nice shoes. I.e heels. I have three blisters on my left foot. I never wear heels. Ever. Now I have to borrow my mothers everyday. Ugh. But it's totally worth the money. Oh yeah, I had to take my lip piercing out too. I totally sold out to the man.

I also have a really bad cold because it was freakishly cold on 17th of may and I totally under dressed. So my nose is the river nile and sore and red (hah! I just saw some guy walk into the glass security wall, sucker!) and I've sneezed like five thousand times and my head feel like a cotton ball. I can't hear anything out of my ears either

bye

So I'll be on a plane back to Norway in eight hours. I'm pretty much packed, just last minute stuff left. I'm still proud that I did not jam my two suitcases to bursting point, there is still a lot of room left, which makes me feel like I might have forgotten something, but I know I haven't. I'm feeling a mixture between nausea, anxiety, and excitement. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my family and going out on the boat, and I'm happy my mum is taking two days off to hang out with me. I know she's bought all the food I like for me, and I think she even tidied my room. I'm looking forward to seeing friends there, I'm scared people I've outgrown will expect me to hang out with them (that sounded so conceited, but honestly, it was not meant to sound like that.). However, I am not looking forward to leaving Toronto. I hate saying goodbye, I got a lump in my chest when I said good-bye to my concierge, and when I said goodbye to Kathryn and Ben, I almost started bawling. I hate the airport. That's always the worst part. Once that part is over it gets easier.

Ugh I just hate saying goodbye, and leaving all my wonderful friends here. Luckily I have lots of distractions that I will bring on the plane with me: iPod with five seasons of Family Guy and the first season of Metalocalypse, and of course, music. A book, sketchbooks, pencils, and a regular writing book thing. These things will hopefully distract me.

• Ten kinds of fresh fruit in the corner of the kitchen counter
• Leverpostei and cucumber on fresh bread
• Makrell i tomat on fresh bread
• My room and curling up in my bed
• The veranda
• Norwegian Summer
• Melkeskjokolade
• Wandering around Oslo
• All my friends that I miss so dearly there.

I am not, however, looking forward to leaving Craig at the airport because I know I'll start crying like a little girl even though he's coming to visit me in Norway three weeks after I leave. STILL.

Luckily I have 17th of may plans, which include hanging out with Nicolai. It was weird planning that with him over MSN, I'm seeing him next week! In Norway.

This is possibly one of the greatest things I've seen in a long time, my Country Boner by... A Perfect Circle? Puscifer? I'm not sure, apparently for a couple of shows APC had no one to open for them so Maynard made a fake band called Recreational Racism, and this was their song.

Only thing is, it gets in your head, and then you sing it all day long...

Otherwise, I leave for Norway next Wednesday. I still haven't started packing, and I'm not sure if I should have started... And I'm not sure If I should bring my Norwegian Playstation back again with me or just not bring it [and be *GASP* gameless for two and a half months] . Since I am at some point going to make it work here... So... Tell me what to do!

Holy shiznit have not been on LJ for 9 weeks apparently.

HOLY EXAMS. I had my English Drama exam yesterday, in which I did REALLY well in the the short answer part, except my answers weren't really all that short, which exhausted all my coherency powers for that day, so when I got the the essay part, I think my brain needed some randomness so while I was writing it out I started thinking in a GAME SHOW HOSTS VOICE WTF? I think I did actually write "So WHAT will HAPPEN to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAVE?" (sans capitals) oh my god, it was possibly the worst essay I have ever written, I had a total brain fuck and could not focus ugh. And then today I was supposed to study for Art of Asia which is tomorrow, which went well in the morning, then Craig came home for lunch and that ruined my study rutine completely. And then I watch episodes of Gilmore Girls, and now I'm on LJ.

OH YEAH. So added on to having an exam tomorrow, I also have an essay due on monday on the use of direct address in Threepenny Opera and The Marriage of Figaro, as well as I should be half way done a painting the size of Julie riddled 

CRAP.

Oh yeah, and also finish moving into this new place by tomorrow, which is possibly the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

The new place. Not the moving. I found out I hate moving and will be perfectly content living here for the rest of my life.

BLARGH.

In other good! news I turn twenty on Tuesday and I keep forgetting. Twenty. That sounds old. Twenteen sounds better.

Alright. Now to seriously tackle Communist Art in China.

yay.

Gah, I have so much to do. Need to finish a painting plus all the prep work today to give in on Monday, this weekend I need to finish my photography assignment which I'm still not entirely sure of what I'm going to do it of... yet. And for next Wednesday I need to have a thesis ready for my English Drama class. But mostly stressing about painting. I couldn't come to class on Monday because I had my first ever allergic reaction on Sunday (due to , I think, an over perfumated body wash, so my entire body was red and swollen and itchy.) so I freaked out and went to the doctor on Monday. Fcuking paying 65 dollars for the appointment and fifteen for a doctors note. Fucking not being a Canadian citizen and not gettign free health services mumblegrumble.

OH YEAH and not to mention the fact that I was deeply traumatized by one of Eddie's new samquamch, except she wasn't reallly a samsquamch, that's just what we call every girl Eddie dates. Actually, Craig and I thought she was surprisingly really nice when we first met her. Then she started drinking.
And she turned into übermench.
See we had gone to a Firkin and had a few pitchers and a few shots of Jaeger (sp?) so we were well tipsy as we were leaving. I was sitting in the back seat behind Darlene (Samquamch) and she was holding my hand, something I would have thought strange had I been sober. But I'm extra nice when I'm not. However I did draw the line the minute she started sucking my fingers. Eddie even saw and we glanced WTF? expressions at eachother as I yanked my hand away. I was rather creeped out at this point.
After that we for some reason went to Eddie and Craig's old high school and drank  at this platform overlooking the court yard. I went to go pee, Samquamch decided she needed to go too, so we went behind the building in this little alcove. After I had powdered my nose and stood up SHE FREAKIN GRABS MY BOOBS AND PUSHED ME INTO THE WALL AND STUFFS HER TONGUE DOWN MY MOUTH.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
I obviously push her away and am all like what the hell? And she's all "I know you want me", and I'm like "uh. No." and she's like "You're such a tease." and I'm like "I'm going back to the boys"
And all night she's freaking feeling me up right infront of Craig and Eddie while I'm trying to push her away but I don't want to make a big scene because poor Eddie needs a girlfriend and I don't want to make him feel bad.

ANYWAY. On the way back to the apartment after I'd pushed her away enough times for her to understand she's fucking disgusting, she reaches around to the back seat and starts fondling Craig's crotch right in front of me.
At this point, I'm not even angry, I just find it hilarious, so I start laughing my ass off, and Craig hits her hand away.
Aw man. Eddie's dates are the source of many funny conversations.
Needless to say he's never called her back since then.

... I'm going to stop procrastinating now.

Ok, killing time before class, which is pretty much the only time I get to fuck around on teh InTaRWeBs, this weekend was pretty interesting. On Friday Craig and I ran out of beer, after having about five each (pluss me drinking at the Absinthe after class as well.) So I get the brilliant idea of going down to KC McFly's and having a few beers there. So after one beer followed by seven mixed drinks and several shots and 77 dollars on my tab, we decide that we've had enough beers and stumble back home-

Craig: Whehhh... Why is it so hard to... to... to... toooo... Walk?"
Me: *dies laughing* "Maybe because your pants are down at your ankles?"

It's actually amazing how often that happens. Last time it did he lost his phone.

Oh and we met this guy called Geoff and he looked exactly like Quentin Tarantino.

The next day we didn't drink. And we woke up and got a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwish, which is like a McBreakfast. We stupidly decided to take a car

Craig: "I don't think I should be driving now.... If they breathalized me it would definitely be like. WAY up there."

So that was fun!

Then we went apartment hunting on Sunday, we're looking around the Yonge and Eglington area, which will be way more convenient for me.

Ugh, I am digusted by my own post it sucks. I'm going to stop now, I'm really sorry for all the pain i cuased everyone who got this far.

This key board sucks to, I have to push really hard on the keys.

Ok, off to my digital photography class.

Oh my Frank people can be so stupid it astounds me. I was on the bus to Scarborough Center to try and get my SIN (which I couldn't because I need a letter stating my employment at the Absinthe). On the bus there I was sitting next to three thirteen year old kids and I asked them where to get off to get to the Center. After explaining one of them asked where I was from and I said Norway.

Stupid girl: "Where's THAT?"
Me: "Um... Scandinavia..."
Stupid girl: "Is that like, near Toronto?"
Me: "No... It's in Eur-"
Stupid girl: "I don't know where that is."
Me: "Yeah it's in Europe. *cringe* ... Next to Sweden."

It was funny because other people on the bus where laughing at her. And so was I. Another golden moment was when the bus was passing by a Mosque that was being built and she came with this : "What? Are they building another one because the world is being over populated by Muslims?" And she said it so loud. In Scarborough. That's the type of thing that gets you shot here. I mean. You don't say that anywhere. It's just wrong.

She was stupid.